Just be friends.
Its all I had to do. That’s what our moms said. Just hang out, grab a bite to eat and have a friend. but no, of course, i have to make it way more complicated than it should be. When he grabbed my hand, I could tell he was more nervous than I, and that made me extremely happy. We exchange quick remarks in a relatively graceful passing for being in front of a crowd. He glanced up at me as he left the room. Then, the lingering questions began to flood my mind, just like the way the road did after the prior evening’s storm. For the rest of the evening, I began to question he motives, and myself for even thinking about it. But now, the conversation has ceased and I’m sitting here wishing for more. Its not suppose to be this way. It can’t be.
I’m off the relationship market. I need a break to fix myself before I get shattered into a million pieces again. I need time to find myself, focusing on things I want, getting me closer on who I want to be. Who I want to be is not spending every waking minute on someone who will probably break my heart anyway. I’m better off living with cats.
There are so many things that could go wrong, even if we would make it. Age, school, distance, distractions… the list can continue. But is it a sign that today’s sermon was about taking risks, especially when relationships were heavily mentioned? I kept throwing my head in my hands even time it was mentioned because I can’t even handle thinking about that.
Now we are going to lunch. My head is spinning. This all happened so fast; my mind is running late on reminding me that this could be a bad idea. But its a date. And I can’t back out. At least, not that our moms are involved now.
The problems of being young. Or being a love-obsessed girl. I really just wanted a friend, but now my emotions have gone all ajdakjanfaonkw on me. Lord, have mercy.
just be friends. yeah, right.